Open-minded

I remember like it was yesterday.

Nolan was around three years old, so we were about a year into this autism thing and still felt like we barely knew what was going on. We were giving him the best we knew at the time but always looking to try something new. Nolan had no words at this time, didn't really play with us, stayed in his own world, and had major meltdowns over things we had no clue about. He was trying to navigate his world right there with us.

Hunter and I drove him to Jackson, about an hour away, to try a new therapy someone told us about. It seemed promising and we were willing to try anything that would help him.

The appointment was a disaster. He wouldn't even stay in the room long enough for us to have a decent conversation with the therapist. It was determined he was too young for this particular therapy and we would try again when he was a little older. The therapist was so nice and understand. She had the kindest eyes and I could tell she felt for us. At the end of the appointment as Hunter was trying to get him settled enough to put shoes on him the therapist looked at me and said, "Have you ever thought about changing his diet?" I don't even remember what I said to her but I know in my mind I was thinking, "this woman has lost her mind."

At that time I had been a nurse for seven years and loved working in the medical field. I was very naive in thinking that if there were a a non-medical way to help Nolan I would have been told by the doctors we saw. Food wasn't going to fix these outbursts, self injury, and aggravation my son experienced everyday. It couldn't be that simple. The dumbest thing I ever heard. I'm pretty sure I told Hunter all these things on the way home too.

Fast forward three more years. A friend opened my mind to the biomedical world of autism. There is too much information there for just this post but needless to say, the doctor we saw ran lots of medical tests on Nolan. One of these tests was for food intolerance. Gluten and dairy lit up like a Christmas tree in Times Square. We were told to go home and slowly start replacing his foods with those that are gluten and dairy free; and to also cut back on his sugar intake. This seemed so simple until I got home and started looking at food labels. If a particular food was gluten free, it was high in sugar or cheese. If it was diary free then it wasn't gluten free. The struggle was real and I almost lost my mind stressing about it.

It took close to six months to get our house and his diet mostly low on sugar with no cheese, milk, or gluten. it wasn't a miracle worker but it did seem to help him be more calm. I was told that a lot of his behavior was linked to this intolerance because it hurt his stomach and because he had no way of telling us, it came out in agitation and outbursts It made sense. We noticed his face didn't break out or get real red anymore too. And his was more regular which of course made him feel better.

Right now I'd say his diet is about 80% where it needs to be. He's way more aware of what he eats so it's harder to keep junk food away from him. We are realistic. We let him be a kid but in moderation. When we go on vacation and he eats a lot of junk we know what's coming when we get home: sleep issues, hyperactivity, and some extra agitation. I've seen these other kids who are on special diets eat fruits and vegetables; heck they eat healthier than I do. I quit stressing a long time ago and quit comparing our life to others. We do the best with what we have and what we know.

I don't shame anyone who feeds their kid pizza and McDonalds everyday of the week. You do you. But if you want to know anything more about diets and autism I can tell you what I've learned and what has worked for us. I often think about that therapist all those years ago who first mentioned diets and autism to me. Bless her heart she was just trying to help, but we weren't in the right place in this journey for that yet. I guess what I'm saying is . . give yourself some grace. There isn't one thing that will help your child . . it is a combination of different things all working together. And something that doesn't help now may be the only thing that works years from now.

Be open-minded, don't stop trying, and never give up hope!