Easter

For many years Easter was bittersweet. Everyone getting excited about dressing up for church, family pictures, and egg hunts. Because of autism, we make plans for Easter, but it was always 50/50 if they would work out. Nolan might get overstimulated and need to leave a family gathering, he may not wear the cute clothes I bought, and he didn't really have a place where he fit at church. Scrolling through social media and seeing the picture perfect photos just hurt. So honestly... I just didn't. I avoided social media the day after any holiday.

I’m not here to say that, magically, this year was wonderful and perfect, and all is great in the world. Not even close. Nolan broke his arm on Wednesday so the shirt I had picked out wouldn’t go over his cast. And he didn’t go to the egg hunt because he was overstimulated from family being over for lunch. He went to sleep way later than normal last night because all the excitement of the day had him keyed up.

But you know what he did do? He went to church with us on Easter for the first time in years. He has his own place in church now where he is free to be himself and learn about Jesus in his own way. For that I’m so thankful! The past few years on Easter we would get all dressed up and Nolan would stay with my parents in his jogging pants and tshirt while we went to church. But this year he got dressed up with us and we all got to go together.

This is the first year he really cared about what he got from the Easter Bunny too. He loved his books, DVD, and happies so much that he wouldn’t even let his sister touch it!

And even though he was overstimulated after our family gathering, he did so great with everyone here. Sometimes it’s just too much and we have to remove him from all the commotion to help him calm down. But this year, towards the end I found him in my room chilling in the bean bag playing on his phone. He knew he was feeling overwhelmed and removed himself from the situation.

I don’t have a magic “fix” or even much advice on how we got to this place in our autism world. That’s really not the point. I want others in the special needs world to know that those picture perfect poses you see in your mind or on social media of how you think things are supposed to be . . that’s all it is: a picture perfect pose. We got a cute family Easter picture this year on Easter. I love it. I’m proud of it. But it’s just a picture of our day. It doesn’t show the happiest or the hardest parts of the day. So don’t put pressure on yourself like I used to. Nobody has it all together. No family has it easy. And no Easter is perfect.

Meet your kid where they are.

Celebrate the small victories and never give up hope that they will keep coming.

Post pictures of your “unperfect” poses and your version of what Easter looks like.

Focus on the positive and pray about the hard stuff.

I’ve learned that normal is overrated!

Celebrate the holidays your own way and embrace your own version of what normal is!