Enough

I got curious the other day and looked back to see when I last made time to write. The last time I posted anything was in April . . right when quarantine started! Just like everyone else we have had to find a new normal around here. Harper never went back to school after Spring Break and all therapy was switched to telehealth for Nolan. I used to feel like a taxi driver taking Nolan to all of his therapies but I quickly started to feel like a "for real stay at home mom." God bless you amazing women who actually stay at home with your children all day! I believe a lot of moms have a newfound respect for you since COVID came around!

We are finally adjusting and settling in, if that's really possible during these crazy times. At least we feel like we have some sort of routine. Harper is in Kindergarten and Nolan is back in face-to-face ABA therapy. He also started occupational therapy and hippotherapy! Occupational Therapy helps so many different people with many things. For kids like Nolan, they can help with sensory issues, gross motor skills, fine motor skills, and lots more! We felt like Nolan could use some extra help with his fine motor skills such as holding a crayon/pencil, writing, using scissors, and using eating utensils. They incorporate a lot of energetic movement play with him as well because he CRAVES the deep pressure and dramatic play due to sensory processing disorder. I'll explain more about that in another post! He does hippotherapy one day a week and he has mixed feelings so far about this! In case you don't know, hippotherapy involves interaction with and riding a horse. He does some occupational therapy skills while on the horse, grooms the horse, and rides with a bareback blanket to get all of the sensory input he needs. There is so much science behind how it works and I have really loved learning about it! He has mixed feelings because he likes riding the horse but doesn't love wearing a helmet that is required. We are working on that though! It's amazing to see him after he rides. . so calm and cool.

At least once a day, either out loud or in person, I think to myself, "are we doing enough?". I've said before that there is no prescription for autism treatment. No "one size fits all." There are so many different therapies, medications, supplements, and a few "fix-all" gimmicks that claim to help. So how do we know for sure what will help? We don't. We do the research, talk to one million other parents that have tried it all, and pray pray pray! We have learned over the years that there is no easy or quick fix. Nolan has autism and he will always have autism. Now, there are things we can do and therapies we can put him in to give him a better or easier life; and that is our goal. We try things and get our hopes up over and over until something clicks. But boy oh boy when it clicks . . it is all worth it.

Sometimes I think God just looks at us and says, "just be patient. . I've got this." The therapists that Nolan has right now are by far the most amazing, passionate, and hard-working people we've ever had. He has had some great people in the past, don't get me wrong! But for the first time, in the midst of all the craziness and chaos of this world, the missing pieces are coming together. And that is absolutely nothing but God. I pray so much that He gives us the wisdom to make the right decisions for Nolan. We don't get a do-over and it is so daunting to think that we are responsible for this life he is going to have. Honestly, that is true for any of our children whether they have special needs or not. Just as I ask each day if we are doing enough, I remind myself that we will never be able to do enough on our own. We have to do our best with the information we have and take that leap of faith that God will show us the way. Not just once, but every single day. The struggle is real and life is hard, but we don't have to do it on our own; and thank goodness for that!