Fix It

For Nolan's 6th birthday we got him one of those Power Wheels four wheelers. He loved riding in his sister's little Power Wheels Jeep so we thought this would be a great gift. When we tried to get him to drive Harper's Jeep he would just run into everything. We hoped the four wheeler would be better since you steer it differently.

It wasn't.

He loved pushing the gas pedal and riding it; but he wouldn't steer. With autism sometimes the mind/body motor planning coordination is delayed. So riding a bike, steering a toy car, hitting a ball with a bat, or kicking a ball is a very difficult thing to learn. This is one of the many things we take for granted with neurotypical children. Nolan is one of the most persistent and stubborn kids I know so he hasn't given up riding on it to this very day two years later.

Harper got an electric scooter for her birthday this year. It's a kid one so it has two wheels in the front and one wheel in the back to help with balance. A few weeks ago Nolan decided to try to ride it. He was a little scared at first but I was amazed at how quickly he picked it up! You have to give it a few pushes before the electric part turns on and he figured that out really fast! I took him outside to play on it and he immediately started up the driveway and was steering it perfectly! I had to jog to keep up with him but I was so proud I didn't mind.

Needless to say after a few days of doing this we ordered Nolan the same scooter.

Every day since then he says, "feet" and points to his feet; which means he wants to put his shoes on and go outside. I already know we are about to ride the scooter up and down the driveway. I can't just go outside and watch him because he WILL go in the street. He really, really wants to. So I usually jog up the driveway and then stand at the end of it because he knows I"m not going to let him by. It is one of those bittersweet things. I'm so proud he can do it and loves it, but dang it's HOT outside! Mississippi in July doesn't play and I don't think that boy gets hot like everybody else! Haha!

After he had ridden his scooter one day, he saw his four wheeler sitting in the garage, pointed at it, and said, "ride." I figured I'd let him try it and of course he blew me away and drove it like a pro! He drives it all over the yard and loves it! The only problem we have now is that the battery dies eventually; and this is crisis situation. I know it is a combination of being hot, tired, and frustrated; but it always ends with him screaming in the middle of the yard. He will fuss, yell, and throw his hands in the air as I push him back home. Then I make him come inside, drink some water, and we go to his room and turn off the lights. This usually calms him down; but it takes a while.

I want to fix it. I want to prevent this from happening every time.

Maybe I should hide the four wheeler. Out of sight out of mind right?

Maybe I should carry an extra battery around and switch it out when his goes dead.

So many ideas go through my head of how I can fix this for him.

Let's be honest though. It's not all about him.

Fixing it for him means less stress for me too!

This morning, during one of the tantrums from dead batteries, I just couldn't get him to calm down. I was so frustrated because I just wanted to know the answer. The key to fixing it.

I don't usually think to pray in those moments because I'm too busy trying to figure out what to do to help him. But this time I prayed, "God please show me how to help him and prevent this from happening everyday."

Nolan eventually calmed down, drank his water, and is currently in his room watching an alphabet song on TV giggling. I didn't get the magic key to prevent and stop meltdowns. But it did make me think of something else.

How many times in our lives do we pray for God to just take it away?

Fix it Jesus.

Take away this illness.

Fix my job that I hate.

Change my wife or husband.

Fix these stack of bills piled up.

The list goes on and on . . and yet nothing really changes. Are our prayers unheard?

In the Bible, Paul says he is given a thorn in his side. He begged and begged God to take it away. We don't know if it was an actual thorn. Most people believe it was a metaphor for something else like an illness, pain, depression, or something like that.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul writes, "Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God doesn't fix all of our problems. He doesn't stop us from making a mistake even though he knows the outcome. Why? Because when we are at our weakest we turn to him and find strength. Regardless of what the world tells us, we don't know it all and we we don't control our lives. But God gives us free will to make our own mistakes even when he knows it will hurt us. He won't give us a perfect life; because that's what heaven is for. If we surrender to Him, give him our life, and lean on Him for strength, we will get to that perfect life he promises.

I can't fix everything for Nolan. I want to because he has a harder time in life than most kids his age. I want to protect him from bullies. I want to take away the things that hard for him and make them easier. I want to keep him from doing something that is going to cause him so much frustration in the end.

But his dad and I are not going to be here forever and he because of that he has to learn that everything in life isn't going to be easy. It isn't going to always go his way. He isn't going to always win. And sometimes life is hard.

He has to learn to control himself and make good choices. I'm not saying I never give in to anything. I am certainly not a perfect parent and it is a daily struggle to find that balance of standing my ground and giving in. But I'm learning I have to step back sometimes and let him fall. I know the tantrum or meltdown is probably coming the he asks to ride his four wheeler. But we will try again and again because the hope is that he will learn that it isn't the end of the world. It's going to be okay. I'll be there to dust him off and love on him afterwards. I'll give him strength in the hard stuff. Just like God does for us.

Watch out world . . here he comes!