Inclusion

Inclusion- the act of including.

That's a vocabulary word I don't remember having in school.

When I went to school many years ago I didn't see or know anyone with a disability. I knew there was a classroom for kids that had learning disabilities and even physical ones. But I didn't know where it was, don't remember seeing them, and didn't have any activities with these kids. I don't know if this was my own fault for not noticing, or they weren't included with the "mainstream kids" very much.

When Nolan was diagnosed with autism in 2016 he was only two years old. I had no idea what school would look like for him. I hoped he would get enough therapy that he could function well in a regular classroom. I wanted him to be included in all the things the other kids were and to learn from them. I didn't want him to be seen as different or be made fun of. I didn't want him to be stuck in a special education classroom all day. In my mind this is what would happen if I didn't get him enough help.

We did all the therapies. We traveled all over the state and tried everything we could get our hands on. No rock was unturned and this boy crushed all the goals we put in front of him. He grew in so many ways and amazed us with his hard work and determination. But when it came time to start Kindergarten he wasn't ready for that mainstream classroom. Instead, he was doing amazing with behavior therapy and we made the decision to do that full time.

By this time, I had met a few parents of children with autism. Everyone had different experiences too. I was still so uneasy about public school for Nolan. Because of his hyperactivity, lack of communication, and learning skills I knew he would be in a self contained class. I was scared he would be made fun of by other kids. I pictured him sitting in a little classroom all day with people who didn't understand him. Most of all, I feared he would feel alone and different from others. It broke my heart to even imagine.

Even after all these negative emotions I still felt a pull toward starting Nolan in school. There has never been a doubt in my mind that God had his hands in Nolan's path. It hasn't been a journey full of rainbows or sunshine but all the fears I had were so wrong. When Nolan started his first ever school year at Grenada Upper Elementary I was surprised to learn that he wouldn't be in a little class all day doing whatever he wanted. He learns so much from teachers that are so patient and understanding. They are able to get him to do things I never dreamed! I see their love and compassion for the kids in their classroom every single day!

One of my favorite parts of school for Nolan is the inclusion he is given. He is included in as much as possible with ALL the other kids in his school. He goes to programs, activities, PE, parties, etc with other kids in his school and best of all he is accepted there. I recently picked him up from school and needed to walk to the front door for something. All the car rider kids were coming out of the front door so Nolan and I stepped aside and waited. I cried tears of joy when I saw so many kids get excited to see Nolan and even went out of their way to walk over and say hi to him! I didn't even know these kids but I loved them because they made him feel special! Yall, if this sort of thing happened when I was in school I sure didn't know about it. I only heard negative things or nothing at all about kids like Nolan when I went to school and that is part of what gave me so much fear for him.

Not only is inclusion a great thing for kids like Nolan, but it is a life lesson for the "regular kids" in school. They are taught that different isn't less. They learn to include others that aren't like them; to help and encourage them. These kids are rewarded for positive behavior; not just good grades. I'm not writing this to just brag on Nolan's school; although I'd love to do that! I just want other parents to know that inclusion matters. Don't be afraid to put your child with a disability out in the world. I'm not naive enough to think that there are only positive experiences in school for these kids who are different. But I know there are more kids who care than those who don't. We can't protect our children from the world, but we can't keep them protected in a bubble either. And parents of typical kids, please teach, reward, applaud, and encourage your child to be inclusive of those who are different. It will affect who they are for the rest of their life I promise you that! Instead of, "don't stare" when you see a kid or person in public who acts or looks different, try saying, "hi!" Set the example for your kids.

I'm leaving you with proof that there is good in the world and it starts when they are young. I was sent this video a few weeks ago of Nolan at PE. A class of typical kids were in there with his class and this moment was caught on video. I'm told they did this for every child in Nolan's class too! You can tell he loved every second of it and they did too! I dare you to try not to smile!