Morning Always Comes

Sleep is something I took for granted as a child. Right now I would give anything to have somebody give me a blanket, tuck me in, and make me take a nap. Sometimes as I carry Harper to bed at night I look at her and think, "I will never sleep this good again!" There is just something about being responsible for another human being that robs you of that deep sleep you have as a child. Even when my kids sleep through the night I still wake up a few times. I imagine that will happen more as I get older too.

A few nights ago I woke up to a noise and saw a child walking towards my side of the bed. At first I thought it was Harper. She comes to me a few nights a week in the middle of the night after a bad dream. I usually scoop her up, take her back to her bed, and go back to sleep with her. I know I should make her go back to bed on her own. She's almost 7. But she's my last child and one day she won't need me in the middle of the night anymore. Much to my surprise it wasn't her this time though; it was Nolan.

Nolan is a good sleeper for the most part. When he's tired he gets in the bed. He doesn't care who is in our house. He's ready for bed and you can stay or go; he doesn't care. Once he's asleep he tosses and turns a lot, but most of the time sleeps until about five or six in the morning. When he was diagnosed with autism I heard so much about sleep disturbances he may have. I felt relieved because at the age of two he was a good sleeper. He didn't have any of the night wakings I'd heard so much about. Fast forward a few years and they hit us like a train. He would wake up sometime between two and four in the morning wide awake and ready for the day! We took turns laying in his bed with him until a decent hour then let him get up and wake the house with his giggles and squeals.

The night waking usually happened in phases. He'd do it for a few weeks then he'd sleep good for a few months. Those phases were exhausting though. It wasn't like you could rock him or just give him an IPAD to watch. He was WILD. Jumping on the bed, squealing, and excited about his day. And some would say, "well he'll take a good nap." This kid doesn't nap. He's good for the whole day.

As he's gotten older, Nolan still has his phases or waking up in the middle of the night but he usually stays in his room until he sees sunlight outside. So I was surprised when I saw him by my bed this particular morning. I figured it was probably around four in the morning so I grabbed my phone and said, "come on buddy lets go get in your bed." As I got in his bed I looked at my phone to see what time it was. 1:45am. "Oh man this was going to be a long night," I thought. He was pretty content at first. He laid in bed and played his favorite videos of Paw Patrol, Gummy Bear, and Mickey Mouse. But after an hour or two he got restless. "Wat Tttv," he said. I knew this meant he wanted the TV remote. I gave it to him but I kept the volume controller. This boy will turn the volume literally up to 100 if I let him! He wasn't happy about that, but after a little bit of fussing he gave up.

The hours went by so slowly. Every time I looked at the time it had been about 30 minutes. I figured I could let him out of his room around 5:30am because I didn't care who woke up by then! As each hour passed though, it was harder to keep him entertained in that little room.

Do you know what kept me going though? It was the thought of morning. I knew that Nolan was going to be fine all day; at least until close to bed time. Once morning came I'd get him ready, take him school, and I'd come home and go to sleep. As I lay there counting down the hours and minutes I thought of Psalms 30:5: "weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning." Now I wasn't weeping by any means although I was getting more irritated, impatient, and miserable by the hour. But I endured, I persisted, and I gained strength from that hope of morning and rest. It made me really think about that Bible verse though. In this instance joy came literally in the morning. But how many times in our lives do we go through hard times and just think, "is this ever going to end?"

One thing is certain about life: it goes on. Hard times will come and go; and so will the good ones. I absolutely cannot imagine going through the hard times I've had in my life without the hope for the morning time. My faith hasn't always been strong in those moments, but God was always right there whispering, "just hold on; morning is coming." Whether it is literally a long night, a long illness, or it feels like life is handing you one problem after another; take a deep breath and remember that morning is coming. This won't last forever and thank God for that.

In John 16:33 Jesus told his disciples, "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." You may not see relief from your troubles until tomorrow, a few years from now, or when you hug Jesus in heaven. But it is coming and it will be worth every drop of sweat you endured. God didn't create us to have perfect lives where everything goes right all the time. That's what heaven is for. So as my husband would say,"Life is going to hit you either way; you just got to put your shoulder into it and push through." You don't have the strength? Pray for it. You don't have the willpower? Pray for it. Talk to him. Yell at him if you need to. He can handle it. But then have faith and lean into Him because morning is coming!

And just in case you are going through something tough right now or just having a bad day, try to look at this picture and not smile!