Our Kind of Normal

Hello again! It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog! Life happens, things get busy, and one excuse after the other has kept me from sitting down to write. When I did make time to be still and get my computer out, it just didn’t seem the same. Something has been off.

I started this blog at first to keep people up to date on Nolan’s progress. It also gave me an outlet to write. Once people started telling me how certain posts encouraged and inspired them, I realized that sharing our journey helped people understand Nolan and autism. I hoped it gave people in our same situation the feeling that they aren’t alone because it’s a very isolating space to live in.

Once the holidays settled down and I had time to start writing again I noticed that my motivation was gone. The desire to share our story wasn’t there anymore. The holidays are hard for us at times, and it takes a little while to recover. But this was more. I asked myself several times why I write. What is my motivation? To help people? Why do I want to sit down and take the time to share the victories and hardships of living in a special needs world?

Of course, I want people to understand Nolan and the awesome kid he is. I truly believe that the more people understand the more accepting they are. And I still want to show other parents and caregivers that there is hope. But it wasn’t enough.

So, I waited and waited, tried and tried, and failed to have any inspiration.

Then earlier this week my husband, Hunter, and I were talking about Nolan’s future. It’s a hard conversation to have as an autism parent because there is so much uncertainty. Every child with autism is different. Some progress enough to go to college, have a job, and live an independent life. Others progress too, but not enough to leave home or have a career. There is no way to know what kind of life Nolan will have. We just push him each day to do his best, try to teach him how to live in this world, and love him through it.

This conversation got me thinking about Nolan’s purpose. One of the most popular questions people ask kids is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Our life as grownups tend to define our purpose. I don’t know what Nolan will be when he grows up. Will he be a movie producer and put those video skills he’s got to work? Will he work for the family business? Or will he hang out at home with me? What will his purpose be? At that, I suddenly felt inspired.

Nolan is just a kid, but his life has changed us in so many ways in the nine years he has been on Earth. We are more patient, loving, understanding, and we don’t take anything for granted. On the flip side though it’s also easy to be bitter, frustrated, and angry at times with the way our world is and the hardships Nolan and we as a family endure. It’s a rollercoaster. We would take Nolan’s autism away in a heartbeat if it were possible, but we can’t. So, if we have to ride this crazy rollercoaster called autism, then I’m going to give it purpose. God can use anything for good and I believe he can use Nolan and his stories to influence others. My hope is that as you follow along there will be laughter, joy, frustration, grief, happiness, and inspiration. But most of all, that you would come to understand that nobody has it all together... we all have our own kind of normal.