Soak It Up

Its been a few weeks. I try to sit down and write at least once a week but sometimes life just gets crazy busy. Who am I kidding? Life is always crazy busy but lately I haven't had time to write about it! I have been posting some pictures to Facebook lately! Anyone who has seen that will know we went to Smith Lake recently for a sort of "end of summer" getaway! In Mississippi you never know when the weather will go from blazing hot to freezing cold so we've been soaking up as much sun as we can on the weekends! There wasn't much sun at Smith Lake but we still enjoyed some water sports and lots of family time!

One of the highlights of the trip was seeing Nolan get to enjoy the water. Anywhere with water is his happy place, but when you add in something that goes fast he is pure joy! He loves the boat but prefers being pulled behind it on the inner tube! For a sensory seeker like him it just doesn't get much better than that! He also got to ride a jet ski for the first time with his daddy! You could hear his squeals and giggles from the house!

I think the most favorite thing he did though was getting to ride the surf board with Hunter. I don't think there was a dry eye in that boat when they got up! Because he struggles so much with learning things and communication it is very difficult to teach him to do water sports. I'm not saying he can't do them - I'll never say what that boy can't do because he proves us wrong all the time! But we can't get in the water with him and teach him to knee board like the other kids. So when Hunter decided to try and get him up on the surf board I was so excited! I'm so proud of Hunter too because that boy didn't understand what to do but Hunter still made it happen! Every time Nolan jumped on the surf board out of excitement I could see Hunter's eyes get big and readjust so they wouldn't fall. It was a struggle for Hunter, but Nolan never knew! He just smiled and laughed the entire time!

As I looked back on pictures and videos from the weekend I thought about how much I trust Hunter with our kids. He rode both kids on the jet ski, surfed with both of them, and pulled them on the inner tube. I trust his judgment more than anyone and I'm so thankful I can! I still can't help but worry though because anything can happen! But then I remembered something we recently talked about in a Mom's Bible study at church: I can never protect my kids 100% of the time. I sure want to though! I want to put them a bubble to keep them from getting physically hurt. I want to shield them from the pain, corruption, and dangers of the world. I believe there is no greater pain than seeing your child suffer or hurt and you can't help them.

But you know what we learned in that Bible study? God gave you these kids. They aren't yours, they are His; and He's entrusting you to raise them to love Him, serve Him, and pass it on to others. You can't protect them from everything. You can't even control what they do in their life. Your job is to do your best to teach them about Jesus, teach them what is right, and pray your heart out that they listen. The rest is up to God. And when they get hurt, whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually, you be there to help them through it. Notice I said, "when" and not "if." They will get hurt I more ways than one just like you did growing up. It will break your heart. But that constant worry and stress you feel to keep them safe and raise them right? You gotta let it go and know that you are doing your best and that is enough. We have a God who knows every single hair on your child's head. You love your kids? God loves them more. Trust Him to know what's best, let go of that constant worry, and enjoy the life he's given you with these children.

I held my breath when my kids and husband got up on that surfboard, but then I took a deep breath and remembered there is nothing I can do to control them in that moment. I smiled, cheered, and thanked God for the memories we were making. I'm not perfect by any stretch. I worry all the time! But then I remind myself that these kids of mine aren't really mine; and they belong to an amazing God that cares for them more than I ever could. I remember to relax a little more and appreciate that the pressure isn't on me. We aren't promised tomorrow so don't spend your day worrying yourself to death over things you can't control. Lift your face up to heaven, take a deep breath, and soak up the sun that comes from a God who's got this!