The little things​

Have you ever heard someone say "enjoy the little things?" I always thought that meant things like sunsets, rainbows, sweet texts, holding a baby, etc. Autism has taught my family and I that it's the little things in life that are actually the biggest. Let me explain. When Nolan was born he was our first child, so every thing he did was a first for us as parents too. The first time smiled, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled;  they were all such a big celebration. . .and they should be! But shortly after Nolan's first birthday those "firsts" slowed down and then stopped. There was never one particular moment where something happened and not one particular thing that caused it. We just slowly noticed that he wasn't walking as quickly as other children his age and he wasn't talking either. I remember hearing him say "mamamamama" and "uh oh" once or twice early on and I'm sure he may have said a few other things but only once or twice. We noticed no new words were coming and the ones we heard before had stopped. This is where the concern started and our journey towards an autism diagnosis began. 

We heard plenty of things like, "boys always do things later" and "he will do things in his own time" from well meaning people but something in our gut wasn't sitting right. So many doctor's appointments and evaluations later Nolan was diagnosed with autism shortly after his second birthday. Of course our lives changed, as did Nolan's, but I refuse to focus on the negative because while autism's been hard, it has made us better people. You see, every little small victory and every little therapy goal that is met is a HUGE celebration for us. Not because we never thought Nolan would be able to do things like, wave bye, match colors, or  follow simple commands. The sky is the limit for him and we try not to ever limit what we think he can do. The thing is with autism you don't know what is possible. I told someone recently that with Nolan we don't plan anything more than a year away when it comes to school, therapy, and goals. This is because as soon as we put a limit on him he surprises us all and speeds right past it. At the same time though, autism is a neurological disorder that causes developmental delay so we know there are things he will have to work extra hard at learning; things that come easy to other children his age.

So the little things to typical parents we wait a little longer to celebrate and that makes them BIG things, not little ones. Nolan works so hard at learning some very simple things that are taken for granted with a typical child. For example, remember the speech issue I talked about earlier. I heard Nolan say "mamamamamama" before he was a year old and I will never forget that moment. He was in his crib in his room waking up for the day and started babbling it because he wanted out. I was SO excited! I never heard it again until a few days ago. I don't say that for pity or to be sad but because I just thought I was excited when I first that 3 or 4 years ago. You would have thought I won the billion dollar lottery the other morning when I finally heard it again. I never knew if I would hear the word mama come out of my sweet boys mouth again and here we are! He loves to put our phones on selfie mode and recently started making noises while filming himself, then plays it back. He hadn't been up long and was in the living room doing his thing. I came up behind him and started making noises with him on the selfie mode, mostly because it aggravates him and I like to pick on him ha! To my surprise as soon as I got on the camera behind him he blurted out "mamamamama" and was laughing! You couldn't contain my excitement and my tears! It was 5:30 in the morning and I woke up anybody that wasn't already awake and acted like a little girl who found out Santa had come to visit! The good news is I've gotten him to repeat it again since then and while I hope he eventually points at me and says "mama," I take what I can get one day at a time and when I say my prayers at night I thank God for that moment. Because that moment gives us so much hope and so much happiness that all the hard times and therapy and pushing him are worth it. 

So if you see us acting crazy in the hallway at Walmart because Nolan did something that seems so simple, or any other family does this for that matter, celebrate too! Ask what you can do to help! We love when people wave at Nolan to tell him bye because it encourages him to interact and use the social skills he has worked so hard to learn. Tell him to "give me five" or "give me knuckles." He loves it but he has worked hard to learn it too and of course it makes us so proud as it should you too! 

Oh yeah, and take a lesson from autism: slow down, smell the flowers, watch the sunset, and enjoy the little things because you never know when they will be the big ones.