Will he

On most Fridays I keep my two nieces and one nephew during the day, so our house is full of kids! Five kids under one roof may sound like a nightmare to some, but they play together pretty well and the socialization is good for Nolan too! To his cousins, Nolan isn't a boy with autism. He's just Nolan. They know he is different but it doesn't stop them from including him. He does his own thing during the day but joins them in whatever room they are in throughout the day to hang out and play around them.

One particular Friday a few weeks go we were all at the pool trying to beat the heat of this Mississippi sun. The kids were taking a break eating ice cream and Nolan was running around the pool blasting his favorite YouTube songs and laughing. Mary Bradlie, who is Nolan's age, looked over at me and said, "Lala I want to ask you a question but I think it's gonna sound silly." I told her there are no silly questions so ask away. I didn't expect what she said next.

"Will Nolan ever get married?"

I was kind of shocked at what she asked. Not because it isn't something I've thought of a dozen times, but because it came from her little eight year old mind. She had just asked me a few weeks before if Nolan would always have autism. I told her yes he would, but he would always continue to improve. I told her he's just like her except he learns differently. She'd seemed satisfied with that answer a few weeks ago but her wheels were still turning about this silly cousin of hers.

As far as her new question about Nolan getting married, I told her that I didn't know if he would get married. I told her some people in the world never get married and some do. Nolan is no different. He can have relationships just like she can. But I also told her that it was a really good question and to always ask me anything she wants. I told her whatever Nolan decides to do we just want him to be happy. Things comes harder for him because he learns so differently, but he's capable of doing anything other people are. She smiled at her cousin running around the pool squealing to his Paw Patrol songs. She knows he is different. But she also knows that different doesn't mean less.

I'm so thankful for the time I get to have with these kids during the summer. There wasn't awareness of disabilities when I was there age. Honestly there isn't much of it now for kids. Any chance we have as adults to expose them and teach them about disabilities will make this world a better place for kids like Nolan. It makes his cousins better for it too. They are more understanding, compassionate, and kinder kids for it.

We fear what we don't understand. So next time you see a person with a disability, instead of telling your child not to stare, tell them to say hi. And you lead by example. And mama or daddy out there with the child who is different . . don't be shy with your child in public. It took me a while to get to the point where I could stop worrying about other people. When we go to Walmart and Nolan is screaming with joy or blasting his Micky Mouse music and laughing people always stare; some smile and others don't. I just continue to push him in the buggy and say, "Nolan say hi," or "I know Mickey Mouse is so funny!!" I used to say, "be quiet Nolan, shhhhh" or "I'm sorry." I won't apologize for my kid being himself.

My hope is that as these kids ask all the hard questions we can teach them that others with disabilities are no different. And maybe those trips out in public will be easier for everyone. School and jobs might be easier. Life can be easier. Life throws us all enough curve balls as it is; why not make it a little better for everyone one kid at a time?

Nolan and all his cousins! He wasn't feeling pictures . . . just wanted to eat the birthday cake!